Every engineering student , subconsciously , divides a year into two semesters. Our minds are so cluttered that we categorize even the events of our lives , semester-wise. 😛
Semester 1: January to June
Semester 2: July – December
Well , 2015 may not have been the most important year of my life , but , it on one of it’s last days gave me an opportunity to write. So , that does make it a little special. *chortles*
2015 has been an year of ‘STFU alarm’ mornings , dreamy afternoons , joyful evenings and ‘lets self-introspect’ nights , but so have been 2014 and 13 . It hasn’t brought or taken anything special in general , except one…
Everyday , we grow a little (quite literally) – our nails grow , our hair grow , our experiences grow , our expectations grow , and we never actually notice . *platitude *
But.. but ..this time , especially in the second semester (refer para 1) , I actually felt it , I actually felt myself growing- every hour , everyday.
The entrenched traits of my attitude aren’t as firm now , I’ve become more open to change , more willing to adapt. To summarize , I have grown up!
And all this because , one fine morning while i was having my breakfast , the door bell rang – It was a stranger , It was ‘ KARMA’. I guilelessly welcomed it in.
Everything that followed was my unwanted guest taking it’s toll on me.
Does this happen to you too ? That when you’re in deep trouble , you get a rewind of all the sins , all the bad deeds you did purposefully or innocuously and you eventually realize that ‘this’ was ought to befall. And you gain strength from it , to rebound , because you know that your good deeds haven’t been documented yet , the settlement is pending…
I did just that , I bounced back . I was now , a more ‘live and let live’ kind of human being , a stronger woman venerating karma not fearing it anymore.
And today , as I close the eventful year , I search for the happy memories and the things that gave me strength , to take them along as i cross the bridge and show a middle finger to everything else , I discovered something.
I discovered , the most unexpected cause of my strength – my loneliness , i’ll rephrase it to – my oneness with myself. The fact that the only responsibility my shoulders bore was – ‘I’ and ‘NOT’ being able to tell anyone anything , has made me more decisive and I have begun to believe in myself .
In the first semester , I met so many new people , envisaging the year to be adventurous and expecting more new people to walk in . It didn’t obviously turn out that way ..and if it would’ve , i would’ve been bored to death. One more learning came by :
” Unpredictability of life keeps us going , it makes us wake up every morning expecting a good day and make plans for a better one and i call it the best day , if none of our expectations get fulfilled . Isn’t that , what we call life ?
Coming back , though I didn’t meet ‘many’ new people , I met someone whose importance I was undermining all this while- I met ‘ME’.
2016
As I enter 2016 , on my toes , leaving behind all the torpor.
‘ I am all set to seize fate by its throat’.. 😉 😀
And , ah ..i forgot to tell . Me and Karma , we made a little friendship pact..
She vindicated me and I promised to not be oblivious of her presence. (She’s my bestie now , not a non-living thing anymore)
And she told me a secret..
” You know what baby , that thing you call ‘life’ … It is about to happen”
Love
NIDAA
Nidaa 