Am I different?

*ding*

*ding*

The message box popped up.
I had begun to love this chat sound , it gave me a sense of satisfaction. I had always wanted to help people and 7cupsoftea.com was such a convenient platform.

(7cupsoftea.com is a website that brings together people who want to be heard , who want to let their frustration out and people who are willing to listen to others without forming opinions)

‘Chloe01′ wants to connect with you.’

Though I never envisaged it to ,but that notification changed my life.

I and Chloe began chatting , we kept chatting for hours that day and everyday thereon. I used to come from college and check my account for her message , and she never failed to send one , one that had everything that could bring a  smile on my tired and dull face 🙂

We exchanged numbers , and switched to WhatsApp , good night calls followed…

Oh btw , I’m Piya(name changed) , a usual 20 year girl who does everything with ridiculous monotonicity. I have parents , like most people do , but have always stayed with my grandmother.

Grandma turned old , had to leave for her heavenly abode ..life’s cycle , very usual.
Wasn’t usual for me though.
I lost my only source of love and support . I lost the person who made me who I am.  I lost the person I looked up to.

I lost a part of me. I couldn’t cry on her demise, my tears didn’t roll down in acceptance of her departure. Everything suddenly collapsed , it felt as if I couldn’t bear my own weight anymore. The whole world seemed engulfed in lamentation.

Then they sent me here , KIT university, a place I couldn’t connect with. Neither the people nor the surroundings amused me.
I spent two years in search of a friend and hoped to spend the other two doing the same.

Chloe came as that ray of light, that had the power to lighten up my soul. Her words pierced through all my plastered smiles and soothed my scars.

While pouring out my feelings of compassion , I began searching for a companion,  that long lost friend, in her.

Chloe had a story that had begun to hurt me as much as it hurt her. Suddenly , all my problems appeared so small and worthless.

Chloe was 19 , when she fell in love with a guy , he impregnated her and left her to fight the miseries alone. She lost both her parents in a car accident , while she was 2 months pregnant. Inability to pay the charges for abortion left her with no choice. At the age of 20 , she had poverty , hunger , helplessness , societal pressure and a baby to deal with.

I began to sympathise with her, I knew the sorrow of losing a loved one , I knew the feeling of being alone in a crowd. And,  I wanted to comfort her in some way , I wanted to make her feel protected , I wanted to take away all her sorrows and watch her giggle and chuckle like other girls in their twenties did.

We began talking every night. Chloe had a hard time managing her job and looking after her daughter simultaneously.
I used to keep her daughter busy online while she did her daily chores.
I used to see her struggle everyday to earn enough to pay the rents and feed her daughter  I couldn’t wipe off her tears and mine rolled down too , after a long long time.

We began filling the voids in each others lives , we began completing each other.

The violins didn’t play , the bells didn’t ring , the flowers didn’t bloom suddenly , there weren’t any fairies in white gowns- but I knew,  I had fallen in LOVE.

I had fallen in love with a woman.

It was a feeling I hadn’t experienced before .
No, she didn’t send tingles down my spine instead she calmed all my nerves.
No, her voice didn’t make my knees go weak , instead she made me feel stronger than ever.
No , she wasn’t a responsibility instead talking to her freed me from all others.

And I can’t explain whether it was just affection kind of love or I was romantically attracted to her.
I just know that she was the one who ruled my heart and head , was the epicentre of all my emotional storms and also my sexual desires.

It was different from the fairytale love stories. It was different from the anonymous writer’s articles or the word porn’s quotes.

It was pristine , the most comforting feeling I had ever witnessed.

1 year 8 months and 13 days later she agreed to fly to India , since I didn’t have a passport and we couldn’t bear this separation anymore.

She was to arrive on Sunday evening , i wandered around IGI Airport the whole night . Her flight arrived but she didn’t.

I came back , and have been trying to contact her since then .
The call doesn’t go through.  I guess she lost her phone , or maybe these ‘airtel’ people are playing games with me I didn’t pay their bill last month on time.

She must be waiting for me at the airport,  she would be so angry.
These people don’t let me go,  I just don’t understand, what’s going on?